i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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