If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
