they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
