there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
