3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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