My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
