What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
