Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
