Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
