I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
