I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
