Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
