Will you blow on my dice?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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