My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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