This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
