I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
