how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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