I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
