question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
