2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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