4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
