She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
