I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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