Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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