I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
