Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
