Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
