Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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