Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
