he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
