My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
