Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
