you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
