Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
