ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
