I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
