I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
