# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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