Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She bit a glass in half.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
