Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
