everyone is single if you try hard enough
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
