bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
