He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
