you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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