I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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