You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
