were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
vagina is talking i cant
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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