I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
