Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
