I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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