what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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