Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
