the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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