it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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