just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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